sbdcsierra Chapter 115 Old Love
Chapter 115 Old Love
"In that case, what do you think of me?"
"puff!"
Mu Song almost spit out a mouthful of water, his face turned red, and he was stunned for a long time before he came back to his senses.
"What, what's the matter?"
Seeing Mu Song's flickering expression, An Heng's smile froze, but he continued the conversation in a relaxed tone.
"Ouch, I've lived so many years, and it's the first time I confess my love, really, it's a bit embarrassing.
But it's vague, and you don't understand, so I can only show my old face and ask again seriously.
Xiao Song, since you don't plan to rekindle your old relationship, why don't you consider me?
You don't have to agree immediately, just try to get along with me, or give me a chance to pursue you. "
An Heng spoke so bluntly that Mu Song could no longer "do not understand", but facing this sudden confession, Mu Song was shocked and speechless.
Although An Heng is only three years older than him, in his mind, not only has he always been like an elder, but also a spiritual pillar in his most lonely and confused adolescence.
At that time, even now, he admired and respected An Heng more than anyone else in his life.
In his opinion, An Heng is an ideal in the world, a beacon of guidance, and a wise man who dispels doubts, but he should not be an amiable lover.
A close lover, it should be...
The image that flashed in his mind shocked Mu Song's heart.
Why until now, his first reaction is still Lu Yuan?Why is Lu Yuan's face all over his head?
The way he smiled, the way he was angry, the way he acted foolishly, the way he shielded him from the wind and rain, the way he was obsessed with him——
Enthusiastic, irritable, domineering, domineering, dazzling, fierce and dazzling...
Good is him, bad is also him.
Lu Yuan is like a diamond with countless facets, each angle has a different light, but each light is familiar to Mu Song, and he has been very attached to it.
Do the math, since we broke up in June last year, to now, there are still more than two months left, and it will be a full year.
During this year, he witnessed Lu Yuan's changes with his own eyes, and he also experienced the tenderness and tenderness that he had been looking forward to for ten years.
The simple but delicious meal, the rescue in the rainstorm, the troublesome examination period care, the gorgeous fireworks, the ever-burning lamp in front of the Buddha, the fiery red kapok, the rigorous and detailed reconciliation report...
They are all Lu Yuan, who believes in "Well said is worse than well done", for him, he has made every bit of effort.
During this period, he also used practical actions to dispel the suspicion related to Liu Di, resolved the pressure from his family, and supported his career from various aspects.
Although Mu Song finds this kind of Lu Yuan fresh, he can no longer question his intentions, and even slowly begins to believe in his "lifetime" promise.
Under such circumstances, facing An Heng's confession, Mu Song's mind was confused, but no matter what, his intuition told him that he was not ready to welcome the newcomer.
"Senior, to tell you the truth, I don't think I'm suitable for starting a new relationship now.
I spent the past ten years in a relationship, and I finally got out, I thought, to do something more meaningful. "
When Mu Song said this, he was somewhat guilty. Although it was true, he didn't say the more important reason.
An Heng nodded his head as if he understood very well, with his usual gentle smile on his face.
"I also support you on this, but I don't think there is any conflict between love and career.
Moreover, a truly healthy relationship will not only not consume people's energy for other things, but will nourish people to an unexpected height.
If you feel tied down by feelings, it's not the fault of feelings, but that person, it's not suitable.
This, you should also understand from social psychology. "
Mu Song stared blankly at An Heng, nodded, then shook his head, not knowing how to explain his current state.
He didn't want to say that he still couldn't let Lu Yuan go, he didn't want to say that he still couldn't imagine spending his whole life with someone other than Lu Yuan.
He doesn't want to be this kind of person who can't afford to let go of his feelings, but his heart is beyond his control, so he can only fight with himself, with insincere words and inconsistent words.
As for Mu Song's appearance, in An Heng's eyes, apart from being helpless, he felt a little distressed.
Originally, he didn't intend to express his love to Mu Song in such a hurry.
He knows that after ten years of disconnection, it is not possible to regain the feeling of the past, especially for sensitive and delicate people like them, the correct way is to warm up step by step.
Therefore, in the process of helping Mu Song to review, except for mentioning the good times we had spent together from time to time, and the care and care given to friends, he did not show any transgression.
He wanted to wait until Mu Song really let go of Lu Yuan and had the strength to open up and welcome new feelings.
In this way, his kind and gentle Xiao Song will not face the current dilemma.
But, the situation didn't allow him to wait any longer.
It's not the deadline that Lu Yuan gave him, but from that contract, An Heng can see how much effort this brother Lu has put in to recover Mu Song.
Although, he and Mu Song knew each other earlier than Lu Yuan, and they have many special memories belonging to ignorant youth.
But compared with Lu Yuan and Mu Song's serious ten-year relationship, An Heng is not too sure how much this young friendship will weigh on Mu Song's emotional balance.
What's more, compared with Lu Yuan's fierce and direct offensive, his silent care for nourishing things has almost no effect.
An Heng was afraid that if he waited any longer, he would miss it again.
Therefore, we can only go to the bottom of the boat and give it a go.
"Xiao Song, I know, maybe what I said today was too sudden and scared you, but I don't regret it.
Because, I waited for this day for more than ten years. "
"What, what?"
Mu Song stared wide-eyed, looking at An Heng in disbelief, as if he had heard an Arabian Nights tale.
An Heng smiled, and added some hot tea to Mu Song's teacup.
"What? Back then, did you really feel nothing?"
"I……"
Looking back at those years, when he was ignorant of youth, when boys and girls fantasized about love, he did have vague feelings for An Heng.
That kind of trust, dependence, respect and love, mixed together, became the light in his darkest period, supporting him, step by step closer to his ideal.
It's really hard to say what this feeling is. Mu Song once doubted its relationship with love.
But after meeting Lu Yuan, Mu Song can be sure that it is different from love.
Although both are based on appreciating the beauty in them, but for Lu Yuan's beauty, he wants to possess it, at all costs, so that he is the only one in that person's heart, but for An Heng, he can only wish to offer it to the altar precious.
Therefore, when An Heng mentioned it, Mu Song didn't know how to explain his immature hazy feeling, and even felt guilty for possibly causing an illusion to An Heng.
After opening his mouth for a long time, Mu Song still couldn't say anything, because he really didn't know where to start.
Seeing that he hesitated to speak, An Heng sighed softly in his heart, but he didn't show it, he still looked calm and indifferent.
"Actually, it's normal that you didn't feel it back then. To be honest, it was only after I went to university that I was able to confirm my feelings for you.
When I was in middle school, first of all, we were still young. In addition, I was not sure. I liked boys, so I never expressed anything.
Later, when I went to university and got in touch with more people and things, I finally confirmed my sexual orientation. At the same time, I also understood that my feelings for you are not just friends.
However, at that time, you were still in high school, and I didn't want to delay your studies, let alone scare you.I thought, after you are admitted to University B, I will..."
An Heng smiled wryly and sighed.
"Who knows, as soon as the notice came out, it was as if you disappeared from the world. I tried many methods, and I even went to your house, but I couldn't contact you.
This delay has dragged on until today. "
"Senior, I..."
Knowing that An Heng's quiet and deep feelings have been buried for so many years, Mu Song couldn't help being touched, blinked, and wanted to say a few words of comfort, but couldn't find the right words.
What can be said?
surprise?move?Flattered?
Perhaps, it is more regrettable.
If, more than ten years ago, before he met Lu Yuan, An Heng had confessed his love to him, perhaps, he would have confused that love and dependence into love, and there might really be a different ending between them .
But now, when he clearly knows what this feeling is, Mu Song can't deceive himself, and he doesn't want to hurt An Heng because of his soft-heartedness.
Such a good man deserves the most sincere and pure love, and should not be mixed with any impurity.
"Xiao Song, I know that this matter is too sudden for you, and it is reasonable that you cannot accept it for a while, but I still want to fight for a chance.
We have been out of touch for so many years, and after going round and round, we actually met again. I think, somewhere in the world, it is God's will.
You believe in Buddhism, and if you explain it from the perspective of Buddhism, does it also mean that there are some unresolved ties between us?
Since God has given this opportunity, can you also give me a chance? "
Seeing the sincerity in An Heng's eyes, Mu Song was stunned for a long time, lowered his head, and opened his mouth with difficulty.
"Senior, thank you for telling me this, although it is very unexpected, but, I... am very happy.
But to be honest, I am very confused now, I think, in this situation, I am not responsible for any promises made to you.
You know, my heart is soft, and I'm a little sticky when it comes to feelings. I don't want to, when I don't even know it, let you come in and tangle with me.
This is so unfair to you. "
"So, you still haven't let him go?"
An Heng stared at Mu Song as meticulously as he was observing a research object, and the lingering smile on his face was gone.
Having known each other for these years, Mu Song has never seen An Heng like this, let alone being examined by him like this. He felt a little uncomfortable, but after thinking for a moment in silence, he still nodded his head bravely.
"Huh, well, it seems that even if you want to take advantage of the situation, you can't do it."
An Heng smiled suddenly, looked at Mu Song, and his usual gentleness returned to his eyes.
"Xiao Song, you really didn't disappoint me. Although you said that you are very sticky about your relationship, I think you have always been very clear about what you want, and you are very brave.
I am ashamed of myself. "
"Senior, I, I'm not as good as you said..."
Mu Song didn't expect that An Heng would be praised for rejecting An Heng like this, and he felt ashamed and ashamed for a while.
"Okay, okay, I won't talk about it. I'm just feeling emotional. In this way, I feel relieved and can leave with peace of mind."
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The author has something to say:
Woohoo, a senior is an ideal in the world~
感谢在2022-04-2712:37:24~2022-04-3012:38:59期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~
Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: Teacher Aidi 10 bottles;
Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!